one of the roads was closed
let me breathe
i’m far away
far enough away to be safe
sometimes i wish i died last weekend
but i’ll find a way to be okay with it
i think
nothing is constant but it has to be this way
time is frustrating but only if you pay
attention
and i think i am forever
but i still can’t get far enough
away
distance has its benefits and it doesn’t matter
which road you take and one of the roads
was closed
it was paved over my childhood and now i drive it
every day getting anywhere
getting far enough away
i really need to isolate my identity from my music because i’m sick of having a fucking existential crisis every time i listen to something i’ve written
math notes
pragmatism and logic can conflict,
unless it is logical to be pragmatic -
one must define the end goal.
priorities arbitrary beyond that point;
follow algorithm to its limits?
value solely self-defined:
circular reasoning in purpose / existence
(i.e. it is the end goal because it is).
does anyone truly know what one wants?
apart from abstractions that are functions
of relatively high living standards and lack of focus?,
love, “happiness”, etc.
the brain will forever find equilibrium -
no matter how good / bad there is a median
at which one will spend most of one’s time.
Anonymous asked: Your vague post has made me ask, what in others spurs you to think that you cannot do for yourself? Is it experience? An obstacle? A different perspective? I go to others to stop thinking, I can't imagine what it must be like to have a mind in silence in comparison to my never resting mind.
well, that is a bit of a mischaracterization on my part, as my mind is relentless as you say yours is. however, i find my mind is sharpest when with one other person. when i have to explain myself i understand my thoughts better. the addition of perspective is a bonus too, because isn’t all anyone wants a bit of validation?
ooh that last part is very poorly phrased. sorry. i think you know what i mean probably.
warm bath
“you are not a warm bath,”
my psychologist said,
“a warm bath would be
wearing a yellow t-shirt
and staying after school
today and would be okay
with being ingenuine
because a warm bath
wouldn’t realize that it
was being ingenuine at all
because a warm bath
wouldn’t be thinking
about it, it would be
feeling it instead (not that
there’s anything wrong
with that).”
senior ball 2013
a collaboration between myself and trrrrillionare from a week ago
a collaboration between myself and trrrrillionare from 9 months ago
idk like i might just want someone around to keep me thinking
thinking is everything
regard everything you do as performance art and then you will be an artist and then people will pay attention.
on a road trip instead of going to the senior ball
i make good choices
right/ii
a man, slowly
digging himself into a hole of understanding
(since holes are negative, correct?)
and the ambulances blare/
come until forever and the passers-by say nothing
or everything
***
imagery + figurative language
emphasis
”i asked ‘are you happy?’”
***
to sell or to not to
in regards to one’s
- soul
- mode of transportation
- personality
- etc.?
***
but she was always busy,
***
a tombstone that reads
“spirits are not real you are in fact your body get over it”
made the bartender cry
***
yes but how would that have been different in a collectivist society?
tell me i’ m begging you
“i am happy”
***
i try not to let it get to me
left/i
Satie and his green velvet liner notes!
as a whole„ in pieces, it themes exist importantly
***
“are you happy?”
“what?”
***
A: everything is a word used far too often;
. it may be widely applicable however
said the bartender
***
absinthe times
a generation story cohesiveness -
does she follow? she must if one is to make
acronyms with her!
***
stay militant xx
both sides, remember? utilize it indeed.
the eighteen-hundred-and-sixty-somethingth
year of our LORD! and moog came down
from the skies and made passers-by,
amen.
***
oh how hysteria
Satie was a great man.
***
oh, my god!
you are so far from being reasonable you can’t even see the other side:
a victimization(?)
regardless let us all remember to calm down!
***
Q: i’ll just have a glass of water (?)
hey teenage nihilists™ i’m here to tell you that teenage nihilism™ doesn’t necessarily have to be a rationalization for self destructive behavior and/or being very mean and rude! you can also use teenage nihilism™ as an excuse for doing all kinds of nice & great things like always leaving a very good tip even if you’re not sure you can really afford to in the long run, or never being afraid to jump into a conversation with someone you might hope to hit it off with, or just following your dreams all around, because no matter what you will die sooner or later and your life will be a hollow void devoid of any symbolic meaning or association, as will everyone you ever meet, love, or hate. remembering this doesn’t have to enable your fostering drug habit or unpleasant demeanor - it can allow you to live a very fulfilling & wonderful life up until that point!
i cant wait until its late enough for me to fall asleep
